A Message From Stanley Himself
Squirrel. Star. CEO. Snack-Driven Visionary.
Hi. I’m Stanley. Yes, that Stanley.
You might know me from The Photo — the one where I look like I’m trying to summon a snack tornado with my tiny squirrel arms. Truth is, I was just enjoying a quiet moment of nut-munching when a bit went down the wrong pipe. The result? A wildly unfortunate (and apparently hilarious) pose. Mary, a brilliant wildlife photographer (and relentless wildlife paparazzi), happened to be nearby with her camera. She caught the moment, and the rest is viral history.
Next thing I know, the photo sweeps the international Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards. News crews showed up. Late night TV called. I was on the internet. All of the internet. Mary and I got invited to London for the awards ceremony. I wore a tiny bowtie. People cried. We had tea with the Queen. She was delightful and I received a portrait of Her Royal Highness painted entirely in jam.
Then we jetted off to Kenya for a safari — part of the prize. Word travels fast when you’re internationally celebrated and suspiciously photogenic. I was mobbed like a tiny 5th Beatle. Antelope chased me. Baboons screamed. A parrot in a nearby tree yelled, “STANLEY WAS HERE!” and I still don’t know how it knew that. I tried to flee, gracefully of course, but the jeeps weren’t made for someone with my proportions or flair. Chaos ensued. Many more times than once.
When we finally got home, I realized something: fame is exhausting. I couldn’t even dig a hole in peace. So I did what any reasonable celebrity squirrel would do — I disappeared into the shadows and reinvented myself. Now, I wear clothes to blend in. Jeans, t-shirts, sometimes even loafers. I’ve got a day job running this website. Here at Stanley Was Here, I oversee the designs, test the products (by napping on them), and personally sabotage anything that doesn’t spark joy.
So welcome. Explore. Giggle. Buy stuff.
Just don’t ask me to pose for another photo.
Stanley Was Here. And now he’s everywhere.
